Sometimes when people read Ephesians 5:22 (“Wives, submit to your husbands”), they forget the context. In fact, without the context, the verse would simply say, “Wives, to your husbands,” because the verb “submit” has to be borrowed from the preceding verse: “Submitting to one another in the fear of Christ” (5:21). Some will respond, “But it only specifies the wife.” Yes, but 5:25 only specifies the husband: “Husbands, love your wives.” But in the context, all believers must love one another (5:2).
The broader context is a series of household codes, codes widely used in various forms in antiquity to specify authority relations within households. These normally instructed the male householder how to rule his wife, his children, and his slaves. Paul, however, addresses wives, children and slaves as well. The same context that calls for wifely submission as to Christ calls for that of slaves to Christ as well (6:5). While marriage, unlike slavery, was established by God (see Gen 2), marriage with the husband being the ruler of the wife was not—it first appears after the fall (Gen 3:16; contrast 1:26-27; 5:1-2). (The term for helper in Gen 2:18 does not connote subordination; Scripture often uses it for God as our helper.)
Let’s look at this in the broader context of passages about submission. Some passages specify a reason for submission: so that God’s name will not be dishonored in the wider culture, for example:
1Tim. 6:1 All who are under the yoke of slavery should consider their masters worthy of full respect, so that God’s name and our teaching may not be slandered (NIV)
Titus 2:9-10 Urgeslaves to be subject to their own masters in everything, to be pleasing, not argumentative, not stealing, but showing all good faith so that they will adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in every respect (NASB).
Particularly relevant here are the longer NT passages about submission to authority. All of these, interestingly, were written to Rome (Rom 13:1-7) or from Rome or Roman custody (Eph 5:21—6:9; Col 3:18—4:1; 1 Pet 2:13—3:8). Romans were very sensitive about eastern cults undermining the authority of male household heads, and Christians, as less than 1/10 of 1 percent of the Roman empire, were out to evangelize, not out to rock the boat on issues that would increase persecution.
When Paul encourages Christians in Rome to submit to the authorities (Rom 13:1-7), he writes before Nero begins officially persecuting Christians in Rome (which is how Paul died there probably within ten years). Like some other Jewish people eager to keep peace, he counters forces of instability that in Judea were counseling rebellion against Rome. His message to the church in Rome, and their behavior, would affect how the Christian movement, viewed as part of Judaism, would be treated in Rome and eventually the empire.
When Peter teaches about submission, whether to kings (2:13) or governors (2:14) or slaveholders (1 Pet 2:18-25) or husbands (3:1-6), he begins with, “For the Lord’s sake accept the authority of every human institution” (2:13a, NRSV). He is not saying that all cultures must have an emperor or slaveholders in power. He is calling for respect for existing human authority structures.
When Paul in Colossians summons slaveholders to treat slaves “fairly” (Col 4:1), the term he uses usually means “equality.” And in Ephesians 5:21—6:9, Paul does something that, to my knowledge, no other ancient household codes do: he frames the exhortations with mutual submission.
Eph 5:21: [before exhorting wives to submit] submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ (ESV)
Eph 6:9: [after exhorting slaves to submit] Masters, do the same to them (ESV)
The principle, of course, remains that we should, in normal circumstances, submit to authority. We still (should) pray for our (and others’) leaders, so we can live at peace (1 Tim 2:2) and because God cares about all people’s salvation (2:4). You would be wise, in normal circumstances, to do what your boss tells you. But does this mean that we should reinstitute the monarchy, reinstitute slavery, or reinstitute ancient power relations in marriage? (This post is not about what those power relations in marriage looked like, but if you explore that, you will likely recognize that is not what it looks like in your marriage today, whether you are more egalitarian, like myself, or even more complementarian.)
But the principle of mutual submission among believers is not merely addressed to a particular culture. It stems directly from Jesus’s exhortation to all believers:
Mark 10:42-45 So Jesus called them and said to them, “You know that among the Gentiles those whom they recognize as their rulers lord it over them, and their great ones are tyrants over them. But it is not so among you; but whoever wishes to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you must be slave of all. For the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many.” (NRSV)
John 13:13-15 “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you (NIV)
Unless one is a total cessationist who says that the principle of mutual submission applies only to the first apostles, it is a teaching of our Lord that we are all invited to follow.
In individual marriages, one partner or the other might take leadership in a particular area (e.g., balancing the checkbook, taking out the garbage), but all of us are called to serve one another and love one another. Various societies have different leadership structures, but insofar as submission to them does not conflict with submission to Christ, it can be a way of expressing our submission to Christ. Whatever our situation, serving our families, our communities, and our societies can be a living witness for Christ.
